Career Counselor Edythe Richards provides an overview of Myers–Briggs® relationships with a brief description of the four dichotomies.
In relationships….
- We all use EVERY function, but we also have a preference for one over the other
- All Types® are equally valuable
- Every individual is unique
- We’re each born with our Type®, and while we change as we develop and mature, our Type® remains the same throughout our lives.
- Type® is a tool to help people understand themselves and appreciate others. It is not a tool for diagnosis, nor a measure of skills.
People are energized in 1 of 2 ways:
Outwardly focused; direct energy toward external environment | Inwardly focused; direct energy toward themselves |
Need to talk about problems in order to resolve them | Need to mull problems over before discussing them |
Look forward to social gatherings | Drained by too much social interaction (especially with strangers) |
Think out loud | Pause before answering questions |
Have a variety of interests & a varied circle of friends and acquaintances | Selective about their interests; most comfortable one-on-one or in very small groups |
People perceive the world in 1 of 2 ways:
Are tuned into the past and present, as they depend on their 5 senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell) to obtain information | Are tuned into the future, as besides their 5 senses, they also rely on their imagination and visualization for information |
“What is” | “What could be” |
Present-oriented; whatever they’re engaged in at the moment commands their full attention | Future-focused; tend to imagine how present events will affect the future |
Hands-on and practical; trust direct, established experience | Theoretical and appreciate new ideas; trust gut instincts |
May see the trees but not the forest | May see the forest but not the trees |
People come to conclusions in 1 or 2 ways:
Logical and analytical; place a high value on directness and honesty | Sensitive and sympathetic; place a high value on expressing emotions |
Inclined to consistency; hold everyone to the same standard | Inclined to look for and accept extenuating circumstances |
Are motivated by achievements | Are motivated by being appreciated |
Like to compete and win | Like to cooperate and create consensus |
Believe it’s better to be truthful than tactful | Believe it’s better to be tactful than truthful |
People run their everyday lives in 1 of 2 ways:
Like to make decisions as soon as possible so as to complete tasks, come to closure, and move on | Like to keep their options open; gather as much information as possible before making a decision |
Live in a planned, orderly way | Live in a flexible, adaptable, and spontaneous way |
Structured and organized; tolerant with routine | Frustrated by rules, routine, and highly structured tasks |
Like to be in control; uncomfortable with unplanned changes | Prefer to stay open to new information and last-minute options |
Are often better at finishing projects | Are often better at starting projects |
Extraverts (E) with Extraverts (E)
Lots of talking & discussion | May not listen well to each other |
Active & busy lifestyles | May interrupt each other |
Social – like to be around lots of people | May become overextended with external activities |
Introverts (I) with Introverts (I)
Good listeners | May lose touch with the outside world |
Patient, with depth of thought | See everything in terms of themselves |
Respect each other’s needs for privacy/quiet | Don’t speak up right away about issues/problems |
Sensors (S) with Sensors (S)
Share a realistic & practical view of the world | May not consider alternatives |
Are literal and linear | May be skeptical of new ideas |
Are unpretentious/down to earth | May be materialistic |
iNtuitives (N) with iNtuitives (N)
Love to share ideas and discuss possibilities | May miss essential details |
See alternatives | Can be sloppy with facts and/or money |
Appreciate each other’s uniqueness | May be vague and/or abstract |
Thinkers (T) with Thinkers (T)
Are direct and honest | May be critical, blunt, or insensitive |
Are consistent and logical | May not understand emotional concepts of conflicts |
Rarely compromise their principles | May not risk sharing emotionally |
Feelers (F) with Feelers (F)
Are eager to understand each other | Take everything personally |
Are warm, compassionate, and expressive | Are sensitive to criticism |
Are eager to connect emotionally | Tend to avoid conflict |
Judgers (J) with Judgers (J)
Are great at finishing projects/tying up loose ends | Struggle for control of agendas |
Are decisive and organized | May be stubborn |
Share a desire for order and neatness | May be unwilling to adjust plans |
Perceivers (P) with Perceivers (P)
Are easy-going and adventurous | Don’t plan ahead or follow through |
Are playful and fun-loving | May be impulsive or mismanage money |
Are curious and open to change | May procrastinate and miss opportunities |
Keep in mind that the MBTI®
- Is based on binary personality traits. Real life doesn’t work this way.
- Can help you understand yourself and your partner, but it should not be used as a determinant.
- Is good at describing potential relationship pitfalls, but this does not mean that some relationships are destined to fail.
Any 2 healthy, well-adjusted people can have a successful relationship
Sources: Tieger & Tiger, CPP, and CAPT.